single Tag


There are so many things that Christians say to others that really is callous, and cold-hearted, that does not help others at all, and for me the one that tops the list is for someone to say to me “All you need is Jesus”.  Say to anyone who is single, you don’t need love and family, “All you need is Jesus”. For someone to say, as if to brag, “All I need is Jesus”.

First off I have yet to hear one person say that to someone, that it is true about their life. Yes, Jesus is all we need as to salvation, it’s Jesus + Nothing = Everything. But when it comes to life, living life in America, functioning in life, everyone who says “All you need is Jesus” always has more than Just Jesus.

First, we are Not to go through life alone, After all God did say in the very beginning of creation,, back in Genesis 2:18  “It is not good from man to be alone” God said that of a man that all he had was God at the time, no wife, no children, no career, home, church or even one person to hang out with, all Adam has was God and God alone.. It was while man was in that state of him and God only, that God said, “It is not good from man to be alone”. Then after God said that, He created Adam a wife, then told them be as one and have lots and lots of children. God’s plan for man is to have more than Him for life on this earth, His created purpose included man getting a mate and having children, being a family just like the Godhead is.

Secondly we are not meant to be an inland., Josh McDowell said it well, “When it comes to my salvation, all I need is Jesus; after my salvation it’s, everything is Jesus plus the church… When people preach that all you need is Jesus, they cut you and I off from one of the greatest sources of healing, of sanctification which is the body of Christ. Don’t go it alone – you won’t make it.”

I have heard countless sermons lately about how important it is to be in a church, that it part of God’s design for Christians, we can’t go it alone.

The above two show us already that it’s at least Jesus + mate + children + church are to make up the life of a Christian.

With that said, what angers me the most is this: When someone says  “All you need is Jesus” and they are married, have 3 or 4 kids, lives in a very nice house, with two nice cars parked in the driveway. Has a great career, a job making a fat paycheck, has a fat 401K, holds a leadership position at their church, Jesus is not all they have, not all they have to be happy, fulfilled, content in life on this earth, they have Jesus + +  + + + + + +.

I feel that to say “Jesus is all I need” has become a Christian tagline, a statement to make to look super spiritual to others, and not a reality of their life.

I think it would be real hard to find one person in America that has a clue what it is to only have Jesus, to exist with nothing but Jesus. Or to be a happy, content, joyful, fulfilled person by having only Jesus and nothing else in their life. Everyone I hear who makes those claims is always married with children. Always have good jobs, nice houses and cars, some have lost position in their church of a ministry. Their lives are overflowing with blessings, their quiver is full, they lack no good thing, they have everything that pertains to life, they have a large box full of toys. So of course their happy, content, joyful and fulfilled, they have love family,  careers, home, cars, church, friends and everything else.

I say take away those things and let’s see if they still say that. And let’s see if the proudly proclaim “All you need is Jesus!”. See if after 5 years, 10 years, how about 25 years without those things if they say that, see if then they have a happy, fulfilling, purpose filled life.

What I am saying is a person cannot have multiple sources that give love, meaning, purpose, happiness, joy, life, and claim that only one is providing all that, that all the others are irrelevant.

I just wish people would stop proclaiming, “All I need is Jesus”, telling others “All you need is Jesus” when it’s not true of their own life, Jesus is not all they have. They cannot say their happiness, purpose, meaning and fulfilled life comes from Jesus alone, when their life is filled with love and family (mate and kids), career and good paying job, nice house, nice cars, fat bank account, part of a great church. They cannot separate themselves from those things and say they do not matter when they do matter.They cannot say Jesus is their source when their life overflowing with all of those other life-giving blessings, purpose giving things.

If you have a headache and you take two aspirins, pray and lay down for a half hour and get up and your headache is gone, you cannot claim all you need is prayer to cure a headache. You have to give credit to the aspirin and nap as well, not just to your prayer. Unless you prayed only, you can’t give it the credit, because aspirin and a nap, each will cure headaches. You cannot say All I need is prayer when your taking aspirin and a nap.

Only after you take the training wheels off you bike, can you truthfully say they have nothing to do with me being able to ride a bike, there not necessary.

I really believe people should not tell someone they do not need something in their life, if they have it in their life, do not tell someone they do not need a certain thing to be happy, unless you do not have it in your life and are happy. So, don’t tell people they do not need money to live a good life and be happy, when you have a fat paycheck and bank account, your not living without it, so don’t tell them to. If your married and have children, don’t tell singles they don’t need them, and should not want to have them. You’re not living without them, you were not willing to stay single so don’t tell them to.

Bottom line, Don’t tell people, especially single people that all they need is Jesus when you’re married, have children, great job, nice home, two cars and a place in a church, because Jesus is not all you have.

French Riviera Apt

I spent Friday afternoon setting on the wall out front of the apt building I lived in during my Jr. and High School days, I was there just last Tuesday after finding out my oldest female friend, Risa (Marisesa) Casey had died recently. I went up to my High School to look at the yearbook from my graduation year, and to my surprise was able to get one from the journalism dept. After that I went to my old apartment complex and walked around the old neighborhood, and thought about my Jr. and High school days. I was also remembering Kath Colby, a good friend who lived across the street who died in 2011 of cancer. I was missing them both very much, they were such a big part of my teen years.

Risa (Marisesa) Casey

I went back Friday because ever since I was there last Tuesday I have been obsessed with going back there, to just go there and set on the wall out front. And I figured out why, why I am so drawn to be there, why it feels so good to be there. When I lived there, the time of my Jr. and High School years, there was hope for me, hope for a future, hope for love and family, hope of a good future. I had a lot of really good, close friends, I had purpose, even though it was just be a student. I had a place to fit in and be part of, school, drama, my friends.

Where today I have no hope, no hope of love and family, no hope of a career, no hope of a future, do no have the close group of close friends to do life with me everyday like back then. No girls in my life to do life with. No place to fit in or be part of. No purpose, not part of anything, or hope for ether.

Polly WarnerAs I set there on the wall, and while walking around the neighborhood, past old friends houses, remembering our times together, thinking about Kathy and what an amazing girl she was, our times together. Risa, how great she was, what a good friend she was, the things we did. As well as other girls like, Polly Werner who was so amazing and so beautiful. Shelli, Debbie such great friends and Robin Airey who I dated, so beautiful. I wounded what could have happened if I would have done some things different, changed things about myself, known what I know now, I would have done 70% of everything different.


Ironically the movie Peggy Sue Got Married was on TV last weekend, never saw it before, it is about a girl who goes to her 25th High School reunion in 1985, passes out and wakes up in 1960 back at her High School, knowing everything. So she sets out to change things she did like marry her High School boyfriend, which ended up bad and a divorce.

I so wanted while sitting on that wall yesterday to close my eyes and open them up, and it be 1968, the first say I moved in with my mom and started Jr. High, but know what to do differently, but of course God did not do send me back to 1968, when I opened my eyes it was still 2015.

My school days were not all milk and honey by any stretch of the imagination, that bowl of cherries had an awful lot of pits in it, those were painful years in many ways. But what I had then, that I don’t have now, was HOPE, no matter what issues I was dealing with at the time, there was hope that things would change, get better, workout, a hope of love and family. I had purpose, I belong to something that I could be part of, contribute to, drama, school itself, friendships. Places to fit in and had very close, very good friends, and had girls that were very close to me, liked me, and did life with me, girls that were so amazing, that I was so lucky to be friends with. I had in my life then the material to make a life, for love and family. None of those do I have today, nor are they available to me, or even within reach.

Today I am one without Hope, without meaning or purpose. My life (not really the right word, I have no life) cannot be fixed, there is no hope of it being fixed, no hope of prayers being answered, not even God can fix my life now (and no one who is truly honest disagrees with me).

Love and family are impossible for even God to give me today, and that is the core of everything. Finding love, leading to marriage, having children, resulting in the first time in my life to have love and family. That then allowing me to become part of the body of Christ, the church. I would have both family, wife and children, and church family. Those two would then enable me to serve Christ both in church and Go into the world with the gospel. A new career, i.e. a great job with a salary high enough to make a life on. And a substantial number of other urgent, and necessary needs that will take tens of thousands of dollars. And all must happen right now, like this year.

robin_aireyBut unfortunately unlike Peggy Sue, who did get married, I cannot go to sleep tonight and wake up in 1968, back to when I had hope. Starting over with the knowledge I have today, with Godly wisdom, knowing what to do differently just like Peggy Sue did. And with God changing just two things about me, maybe then Kathy, Polly, Robin or one of the other wonderful girls I knew then would have fallen in love with me.

I would do anything to be where I was them, a place of HOPE, hope of love and family, hope of a future, of a purpose. But sadly, the chances of the miracle of me waking up in 1968 and starting over happening are greater, than the miracles happening that it would take to fix my life today. And that leaves me with no hope today.

But most of all, the most need thing back then, would be having the love and favor of God, and God changing just two things about me, two things that would result in a different life, me being a different person today. I long for the time when there was hope, hope for me, for love. So guess I will have to settle for going back to the old neighborhood and remembering that time there was hope, when I had such truly amazing girls, so many great friends (especially such amazing girls)  in my life. Thank you, Risa and Kathy, for all that you gave me, yourselves, your friendships.

362718969 40fc6fd0a8Renee Johnson ask for a list of 10 things to overcome loneliness, she is compiling a list of things, this is my list.

1. Spend intimate time with God in prayer and study of the word. This is the most important and fulfilling thing we can do, this should always be the priority of our life, seeking the face of God. Only God can ultimately fulfill us, meet our true needs.

These things below cannot nor are meant to cure loneliness but to rather help us combat it, help us to to keep going forward in life and to better ourselves rather than allow our loneliness to destroy us, reek havoc in our lives, keep us from life.

2. Spend time with your friends. Make an effort to be social and make new friends and hang out with them.

3. Never eat a lone. Arrange to have dinner everyday with someone, a friend, someone from work, school, or church. You could even join a dinner group. Use the time to meet new people, set a goal to have dinner with everyone at your church, the staff and get to know them. (new friends can come out of this.)

4. Join a health club, and actually go. This will also get and keep you in shape, you will feel good about yourself. Exercising also combats depression, it is a major mood enhancer. An instructor-led class is a great loneliness buster for when you really want to be with people but don’t have the emotional energy to talk. Find a club here.

5. Volunteer: Serve others at Habitat for Humanity, a food bank, meals on wheels, a homeless shelter, Big Brothers, do Tutoring, be a Child Advocate. Find a place here. Join a cause you are passionate about, social of political Find a group here. Check with you church and where you can serve others in he body.

6. Take up a sport. Join a softball league or a biking club, ski club, learn karate, and make friends with the other team mates. (this will also keep you in shape, and build self esteem).

7. Take up a hobby or find a new one. Join a theater group, chess club, take up pool, join a cooking group, wine club, a book club, poetry club, or a writers club. Find a hobby here.

8. Take a class of two. Learn new sills, a new language, cooking classes, dance. Even go back to get a second degree.

9. Join a bible study group or prayer group. Even start one in you own home.

10. Never engage in bad or destructive alternatives: Never turn to food, alcohol, drugs or sex to fill the loneliness, nor allow yourself to set in a empty room and sulk, these things will only make things worse and add more serious issues to your life.

Has anyone really figured out the answer to this dilemma? I know I do not have the solution to this dilemma but I do know this, what most people think will end it, seldom if ever does end it, too many purse the wrong thing(s), destructive and harmful things. This is why we must start with God, and our relationship with Him. Seek to be honest with God about our loneliness, and thank Him for revelation of it! And celebrate the need it creates in us that draws us to Him, to His presents! We need to see that there is no way to avoid a relationship with God and find bliss in this life. I think that is a good place to start.